Astrill Down, Everyone Frustrated

Astrill down

It’s a decent day. Outdoors, I mean. We shouldn’t be doing this. We shouldn’t be checking our WeChat groups as friends report what portals are working and which are not — “Sweden 2 is okay” … “…and, not any more!” — we shouldn’t be obsessively clicking refresh on our gmail tab as if the government has decided just in the previous five seconds to unblock the service, and we shouldn’t be cooped up in cubicles or monstrosities of home-office complexes twiddling our thumbs like simian slaves of a machine that won’t even let us work. We should all go to the park and play Frisbee.

Sometimes living in Beijing can feel like a communal experience. I’ve said this before about air pollution — the reason many of us complain about it on social media is because it plugs us into a greater suffering that satisfies our primal, human need for social belonging — but it’s just as applicable to Internet outages. This happens every once in a while, we should know by now. We should have, you know, backup plans. Upon this reminder that we live in a cocoon of glorious shared experiences, all of which will make us better, let us spill into the streets outside with bread to feed the birds and a kindness in our hearts for stray cats who wonder why such frustration and needless pain, agony, anger is carved into the furrows of our souls.

Anyway. USA connections are working as of this moment. Godspeed, everyone.

Astrill overload

    3 Responses to “Astrill Down, Everyone Frustrated”

    1. bag of Dicks

      I just passed this message onto my boss. “I shouldn’t be a slave to the machine, man! Life is for the living!”

      You know what? He clapped his hands, jumped onto the table and by God if the spirit of life-rejecting comedian Robin Williams didn’t take control of him that day. Oh Captain my Captain!

      Everyone headed outside to play Frisbee on the grass, while my boss brought out homemade cookies. Soon, I caught the eye of that pretty girl on Floor 2 that I’d never had the guts to approach. We chatting – oh about nothing really! – while she coquettishly twisted her curls. Then I took her round by the bins and impregnated that sweet thing.

      The big boss noticed from his ivory tower. He headed out, chomping on his cigar, and looked ready to give me the tongue lashing of my life! The big cheese grabbed me roughly by naked shoulder. “You boy! What’s all this!”.

      I explained and within minutes the great titan was sobbing about how he’d sacrificed the only real love of his life for work and regretted it every minute since. Long story short, he gave me a promotion and is sponsoring my unborn child though college. Oh, there’s one strict condition though…

      Every Wednesday is compulsory Frisbee playing. No exceptions!


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