Someone Wrote Another “Why I’m Leaving China Column,” And CNN Actually Published It

Marc van der Chijs, a successful businessman and entrepreneur who co-founded Tudou, is leaving China, and he thought you should know about it. Because he’s leaving China. Or have you not heard? No? Huh, that’s weird. Anyway, he’s leaving, and CNN Money published his farewell letter, so now you know.

Basically, Marc van der Chijs is leaving because of pollution. “I also missed being able to exercise outside, having been forced to run indoors on a treadmill for several years — even while training for marathons.” What unspeakable horrors a treadmill ever inflicted on his chaste body, he’ll never, ever tell.

Where will Marc van der Chijs ever go, with his calificied soul? Will he be okay in the brave new world that is non-China? And his family? We hope he finds a safe, clean pla–

After looking at many places, my family eventually decided that Vancouver would be our preferred place to live.

Will he ever be hireable again? He’s been out of the rat race for so long, who would possibly want to take on a middle-aged white man who’s lived abro–

I joined CrossPacific Capital as a partner, and will help the fund’s North American portfolio companies set up or expand their activities in China.

How will he ever recover from the scars of living in China? How many years, how many afternoons of sitting by a peaceful pond under blue skies in Vancouver, feeding mandarin ducks, are required to bury, if not wash away, the pain and anguish of all th–

I had a fantastic time in China and a much better life than I could have imagined when I arrived there as a 27-year-old. I helped build several businesses, made tons of friends and started seeing the world from a different perspective than the one that the Western media had given me. I liked the international atmosphere of Shanghai, with its many clubs, restaurants and fast-paced business life.

Wait, what the fuck is this column about, again?

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10 Responses to “Someone Wrote Another “Why I’m Leaving China Column,” And CNN Actually Published It”

  1. Chinese Netizen

    I’d like to see more educated, rich, possibly princeling types write their “why I’m leaving China” stories instead.

    Reply
  2. On his Chijs

    Look, you bastards got to recognize one thing. Marc van der Chijs, or CASE as I like to call him, is the world’s top master, the ultimate Shifu of the humblebrag. And also just the humble brag.

    “Air Canada has a rule that your kids have to sit in the row in front of you in their Executive First Class suites, something we did not know when we booked the flight. But the kids fly so much that they both did not mind that they could not see us during the flight. Take-off and landing are sometimes a problem for Elaine, but after talking to the purser Scott and Elaine were allowed to sit next to us at the beginning and end of the flight.”
    http://www.marc.cn/2013/01/the-longest-new-years-day.html

    “In my car on the way to the Ferrari Formula One party at M1NT” http://post.ly/1tfxM

    “Tonight’s wine is a 2004 Chateau Lilian Ladouys (Saint-Estephe). Cheers!” http://post.ly/1S4N9

    “Packing my bags to go skiing for 2 days with the family in Germany. Last time I skied was in Beijing, I prefer the European slopes.”
    http://twitter.com/#!/chijs/statuses/17103853090504704

    “After my running + rowing work-out earlier this evening I am now going to treat myself to a good bottle of red wine.”
    https://twitter.com/chijs/status/23743887503794176

    Reply
  3. snoopfrog

    Brought tears to my eyes….. especially the running indoors bit…. seems so unfair.

    Anyway, yes there is pollution, yes there are issues but we should stop pussying around. I commute by bike in shanghai because it takes me?less time than when i drive and if more people did that then maybe the pollution would be down

    Reply
  4. SeaHorse

    Legit reasons for leaving China. China is great and fun if you’re a single person looking for job adventures and experience, but once you have a family you’d probably want to leave China. We’re Expats, not immigrants, I mean who actually planned to settle down in China? No one. That would be idiotic. As a child of migrants, I totally understand when people get sick and tired of China and want to leave, it’s not the best place to raise healthy and well educated children. I also understand how one can feel utterly like a foreigner and just want to go home (since I lived my entire life sucking that shit up). So as long as they don’t make a drama queen exit I’m cool with that.

    Also Canada is a near perfect country to raise children.

    Reply

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