Donnie As You’ve Never Seen Him, i.e. Not In A Boston Sports Jersey

Unemployed Donald Mahoney, 28 or so, went to the Shanghai marriage market to get a spouse, which he needed “yesterday.” You are sexually irresistable, he was told, but that — along with his ability to do pushups — was not enough to attract the attention of those with eligible daughters. A different ploy was needed…

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