On Wednesday morning, Chinese Valentine’s Day eve, a young man in a Xidan mall got on his knees to propose to his love and serenade her with a song. She was having none of it. Repaying his public display of affection, she kicked him.
Ladies, help me decipher: that’s just an expression of embarrassment, and the boy was right to interpret it as an act of endearment… right?
Here’s a transcript of their conversation (translation errors mine):
Boy, on his knees: “Take me.”
Girl: “What are you doing? Ai, get up. I’m telling you, get up now.”
They walk a little before the boy gets back on his knees.
Girl: “What are you doing now?”
Boy, singing: “From the first time I saw you…”
Girl: “Ai! Get up!”
Boy: “…your reflection walked into my heart.”
The girl kicks him, demanding, “Are you done yet?”
Love is never done, girl.
Boy, still singing: “Every minute, every second, I’m always loving you.”
Girl: “I find this very lame, you know. You still have any face?”
Boy, singing: “Believe in love, there will be miracles.”
After a one-second pause, the girl kicks him again on the side. She is very angry.
Girl: “Damnit… get away from me!”
Boy: “I love you, love you…”
And then he follows her, saying, “Heart’s set on you,” reaching out his bouquet for which he probably overpaid. One imagines, while completing the transaction, his heart swelled with the possiblity that she would say yes, and perhaps he grew dizzy and uncomfortable with thoughts of all that he had yet to plan in the remainder of his long life, a life which he would gladly forfeit — has already forfeited, he is well aware — at the feet of the girl of his dreams.
The two disappear out of the camera’s prying eye. A sweet tune stops playing. The seas rock and break on cold gray stones. And somewhere, a whiff of almonds.
Aw, poor guy. It’s like Brock and Professor Ivy all over again.