Did We Read This Right? Mother Bites Off Son’s Penis

Chattering teeth bites off penis
Let’s get right to it. Shanghai Daily: A single mother bit off the penis of her 9-year-old son in a state of delirium on Sunday in Yibin, a city in southwestern Sichuan Province, local media reported. In my wildest fever dream, I will never again describe myself as being “in a state of delirium. The... Read more »

Xi Jinping Gets Serious With His High-Ranking Comrades

Xi Jinping
CPC top dog Xi Jinping wants to lead by example. “The style of officials, particularly top officials, has an important impact upon the style of the Party and the style of the government and even on the whole of society,” according to a recently released statement. “Such a way of doing things must first start with the Standing Committee.”... Read more »

World’s Tallest Woman, 7-Foot-8 Yao Defen, Dead At Age 40

Yao Defen with normal-sized woman
Yao Defen, who grew to be 7-foot-8 (2.34 meters) due to a tumor in her pituitary gland, died on November 13 in her hometown of Zhucheng, Anhui province. We’re not sure why it’s taken three weeks for reporters to get around to this story, but here it is on Daily Mail, etc.: A neighbour recalled how... Read more »

Professional Volleyball Players Criticized For Skirting Beijing Subway Security Check

Steve Brinkman
Fred Winters (left) and Steve Brinkman are among the first foreigners to come to China for professional volleyball. That they were former Canadian national team players makes them a big deal, not completely dissimilar, we imagine, to Gilbert Arenas and Tracy McGrady as far as the impact their presence has had on club and fan... Read more »

Meet China’s Top Monkey Trainer, Who Breastfeeds Her Subjects

Primate sucks breast
If you heard through the grapevine — at a bar, for instance — that a certain Chinese woman breastfeeds monkeys, where would you suppose that person got his info? The Sun and Daily Mail? The Sun and Daily Mail. Let’s start with The Sun: Jiao Xinzhen believes it is the key to the success of her... Read more »

China-USA Super Model Contest Is The Latest Beauty Pageant You Didn’t Know Existed

China-USA Super Model
Look, we’ll be the first to admit that there’s a lot about the China-USA Super Model Contest that we don’t know. Maybe it’s a pageant to promote Sino-American cooperation. Maybe it’s a worthwhile soft power push in which the ultimate winners are Americans doing business in China, and vice versa. Maybe it’s a contest to... Read more »

Military Helicopter Crashes Into Residential Area, Injures 4

Helicopter crash
Around 9 am this morning, a military helicopter crashed into a residential neighborhood in Shantou, Guangdong province. The pilot parachuted to safety, but at least four people on the ground sustained injuries, none life-threatening, according to People’s Daily. One of the injured, a 26-year-old woman, had to be taken to the hospital. In typical fashion (not really,... Read more »

What Will Mo Yan Wear At The Nobel Prize Award Ceremony?

Mo Yan Nobel dresswear
Mo Yan is scheduled to leave tomorrow for Stockholm, according to South China Morning Post, where on Friday he’ll deliver his speech to the Swedish Academy and the following Monday will attend the award ceremony. Netizens all want to know: not what he will say (probably nothing, per his name), but what he will wear.... Read more »

Two Fighters Go A Full Round At A Sichuan Park

Two Fighters Go A Full Round At A Sichuan Park
Don't know a darn thing about this video except that it was taken in Sichuan province earlier this week. In the title, we're told it's a woman and an older woman fighting. In the video description, we're told it's man and an old woman. The only things we can deduct as truth: an old woman is fighting, and she's doing okay, despite throwing punches and kicks in slow motion.