“Inaugural China Masturbation Contest” Is A Real Thing, There Are No Winners

Masturbation contest 2
Dudes wearing creepy, creepy masks pulled down their pants, held orange-red plastic pails over their privates, and masturbated while scantily-clad female models did sexually suggestive things, including with dildos and blow-up dolls. And it wasn’t for a porno — a terrible, terrible porno that no one would watch. Who wants to explain? “On the afternoon... Read more »

CCTV Sends Reporter Out To Ask About Sex Ed, Discovers Horrible, Hilarious Truths About How Babies Are Made

How did you learn about sex? At school, from a teacher? Or at home, from parent? Maybe a relative, or a cousin, or sibling? Or perhaps you discovered it by accident, around the same time you discovered a titty magazine, glossed with the allure of eroticism: the power of posture, the penetrative glance, deep-plunging appeal.... Read more »

Boobs And Crystal Cars At The Guangzhou Auto Show

Crystal car
Chinese auto shows are special, able to launch a model’s career in much the same way that American Idol launches pop careers, but when scantily-clad adults are too passe and scantily-clad five-year-olds are too controversial, what does an organizer do? In Guangdong province, where the 10th Guangzhou International Automobile Exhibition opened on Friday (extended from seven to 10 days),... Read more »

Here’s The 18-Year-Old Who Got A Party Boss Fired, And Of Course Bo Xilai And Wang Lijun Are Involved, Because Chongqing

Zhao Hongxia 2
The Chongqing sex scandal is getting very, very interesting. Whatever intrigue was already inherent in a scandal involving a high-ranking Party official and his mistress, raise it to the power of Wang Lijun and Bo Xilai. Let’s start here: The femme fatale has been identified as Zhao Hongxi, who was 18 years old in February 2007... Read more »

We’re Sorry If This Gives You Nightmares, But This Is Hu Jintao’s “O” Face

Hu Jintao on Beautiful Agony
We’ve spliced together Hu Jintao, China’s outgoing leader, and Beautiful Agony, a website that… Beautiful Agony began as an experiment*, to test a theory that eroticism in human imagery lies not in the body, but in the face; that film of a genuine, unscripted, natural orgasm can succeed where the most visceral mainstream pornography fails,... Read more »

Need A Job? Shanghai Company Seeks “Condom Testers”

Condom testing ad
Screenshot of original ad after the jump; the above pic is via Weibo, @shdaily. Wanted: Condom Tester. Must Be Female, Good-Looking, Between The Ages Of 18 and 25. No, seriously. The ad has been removed, but for a while, “lively and good-looking women” between 18 and 25 were given the chance to apply to test... Read more »

17-Year-Old In Fujian, Ashamed Of Getting Erections, Turns To Self-Castration

I don't want to know
Image via 7y7.com A 17-year-old in Anxi, Fujian province tried to cut off his penis to spite his out-of-control teenage and totally normal hormonal drive. Thankfully for him, he was not successful. According to Strait Metropolis Daily, the 17-year-old was at home Saturday, in bed, when he took a knife and tried to castrate himself.... Read more »