Dashan: ‘I Can’t Remember Any Of My Friends Or Acquaintances Using Terms Like That Since We Were In Junior High And Didn’t Yet Really Understand What A Vagina Is.’

He’s a charmer, that Dashan. Yesterday we posted about how cute it was that he — China expert Mark Rowswell — finally discovered ChinaSmack, one of the most popular China blogs on the Internet, and today we find out that he likes ChinaSmack so much that he’s posting multiple comments.

Many of ChinaSmack’s commenters cower before his presence, going, OOPS! Sorry for making fun of you, Dashan! I’m actually a fan!

But here at Beijing Cream, we’d like to present a counterargument: Dashan is still a prick. Why would we say that about this real-life Canadian hero? Let us count the reasons…

1. Dashan tells ChinaSmack what it is that ChinaSmack does, with a real dickish parenthetical:

I posted this because I think many Chinese netizens often feel it’s impossible for foreigners to understand their world. In fact, sites like chinaSMACK (you’re not the only one) do provide a window into China that is very current and direct, and easily available to anyone that’s interested.

2. Dashan says being harmonized “is a fact of life in China” before continuing his lecture for the ChinaSmack commentariat:

As for the danger of being harmonized, that is a fact of life in China. Of course Chinese don’t like to make their country look bad, and I’m sure a lot of ordinary Chinese (not to mention the government) are uncomfortable with the idea that this side of China is being shown around the world. On the other hand, everything you are posting here is content that is widely distributed inside of China anyway, and the Chinese government is clearly much less interested in anything that is said in English as opposed to Chinese. Whatever is said or written in English doesn’t really matter that much, simply because it doesn’t have a big impact inside China anyway.

3. Dashan tells the ChinaSmack commentariat who ChinaSmack’s audience is:

And besides, your primary audience is non-Chinese and people that should be web-savvy enough to know how to use a proxy, so what do you care if you’re harmonized or not?

The above were the first three paragraphs in his first comment. Shall we continue?

4. When asked, “You don’t read The China Daily or 21st Century English language newspapers much do you Dashan”:

Of course not, ha ha! Those papers are absolutely irrelevant. They’re only published for show, and to help Chinese university students practice their English.

5. Dashan delivers “parting words,” gets all Jesus-like:

To all those people who always wanted to insult me to my face, consider it Mission Accomplished, ha ha! Yes, in fact I did read your comment and am aware how much you hate me. Just wanted to reassure you of that. I still love all of you.

6. Then this:

In all honesty, from the comments here one can tell that chinaSMACK’s readers (at least the ones that post comments) tend to be quite young and not necessarily very knowledgeable about China. I think that reinforces the argument that chinaSMACK is doing a great job in explaining this part of China to an audience that really needs to know more about China.

7. This:

I honestly don’t know anyone over the age of 20 who uses a word like “douche bag” (OK, for those picky people — two words). I can’t remember any of my friends or acquaintances using terms like that since we were in junior high and didn’t yet really understand what a vagina is.

8. This:

Keep up the good work, guys. Don’t let the readers get you down!

I post the above without any beef at all with Dashan. His existence is simply amusing to me. And — because he’s a smart guy with savvy instincts for entertainment — I trust he’s amused by all this, too.

Keep up the good work, Dashan. Never change.

    3 Responses to “Dashan: ‘I Can’t Remember Any Of My Friends Or Acquaintances Using Terms Like That Since We Were In Junior High And Didn’t Yet Really Understand What A Vagina Is.’”

    1. Scott

      Wow. What fucking people does Dashan hang out with? “Douche bag” is a widely used term in most of the American/Canadian/British/Australian/any-other-native-English-speaking circles I hang with. That and “tool.” Slightly less used is “tool bag”, but that’s because its a term my best friend and I kind of came up with. Its for someone so fucking useless, the only thing they are good for is carrying “tools” around. And nobody likes a “tool” so when a “tool bag” brings in a bunch of them, well, it gets kind of annoying.

      But yeah, “douche bag”. I know a lot of fucking people in Beijing and far less than one percent of the expats I know are under the age of 20. In the last week I heard the term probably more than 9000 times. Dashan, you need to hang out with more interesting people. Fuckin douche bag!

    2. donscarletti

      Regarding the cowering, of which I guess you might include me in, I don’t like him, at least not his public persona and I said as much.

      But when he showed up, I appologised because I don’t like to be a guy who is using ad hominem attacks against other Chinasmack readers, which he apparently is.

      There’s a fine line between calling someone a douche and being a douche oneself, don’t forget that.

    3. Kilo

      He’s used his panda licking connections to block the mainpage of Chinasmack. How anyone could possibly admire the goof is beyond me and his claims to teach English are comical considering his opening phrase is something along the lines of “today we are going to talk ABOOT”.


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