Lonelyhearts: A Rundown Of Beijing’s Most Eligible

Your weekly guide to Beijing’s most eligible singles.

The Boy Scout
Craig’s List

Always one to plan ahead and brimming with ambition, this young American is looking to “find a beautiful Asian (the most beautiful in the world).” Due to arrive in Beijing in “two weeks.” Likes boats, button-down collars and canned beer.

 

Top Gun
the Beijinger

Desperate for one last fling before shipping out to the killing fields of Afghanistan Iraq Iran. Lonely young US cadet seeks a like-minded language partner. Feel free to contact him at chinaexpat22@gmail.com.

 

The Priest
the Beijinger

A man of refined tastes and expensive habits, this self-styled “Catholic gentleman” likes jazz piano, black polo neck sweaters and long walks through the city at night. But contact him “by sending email only!” (exclamation point his). gygi@ymail.com

 

HOLY SHIT IT’S YOU!
the Beijinger 

Having worked with foreigners “for quite a while,” 24-year personal assistant and Tianjin native Ellen is now looking for a laowai of her own. An extensive list of requirements includes “no causal sex,” “no freaks,” and a preference for “yellow.” She seems to have cleverly used the letter O as an apostrophe. “U” should be “job-occupied” and “email only with clear pic attacted” [sic]. Ms. Ellen also claims a willingness to… ah, who are we kidding, you stopped reading at “no casual sex,” didn’t you?

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