Lonelyhearts: A Rundown Of Beijing’s Most Eligible

This week: A Canadian, an Aussie, an Irish-phile… and calling on all who know how to blow (a “flute”).

The Weatherman
the Beijinger 

Just in case you were still uncertain, Michael REALLY IS FROM CANADA, STOP ASKING HIM ALREADY, OKAY? Despite the odd grammar and poor command of English, Michael is at pains to remind potential soul mates that he does have an American… — sorry, Canadian — green card, and is very, very proud of the fact too. DEAR GOD THE QUEEN DO NOT SEND HIM PRIVATE MESSAGES.


“Flute Player”
the Beijinger 

Is looking for a “flute player” to complete a six-piece ensemble… if you are “good at it.”

Is this a euphemism? Am I missing something?


Pot O’ Gold
the Beijinger

With St. Patrick’s Day just days away, this young lady is desperate to find a dashing young Irish man (or “someone from nearby countries” — so, England then?) to take her to the annual Irish Ball. Must have “good manners” and “not be too fat.” Guess that rules out of most of the fellas in Paddy O’Sheas. Likes Guinness, the Pogues and other Irish stereotypical activities.


G’Day To You Too, Mate
the Beijinger

Wealthy, handsome and willing to “talk…to…you…very…slowly” this young Australian is the complete package. A budding young anthropologist, he likes to “teach English sometimes as a hobby” (he doesn’t need the money!) and finds China “very different to Australia” — now there’s a surprise! Is looking for a potential wife to help spend his family’s tin mining fortune.

By the way, what you got against sending “private messegers at Beijinger,” huh?

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    4 Responses to “Lonelyhearts: A Rundown Of Beijing’s Most Eligible”

    1. Gusman

      Let’s meet out the back of Starbucks by the trash cans and I’ll sort that “I’m a Canadian, like from Canada” stutter out once and for all A, Muppet


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