You might have missed this, but Gangnam Style is pretty popular worldwide, including China. It is also unpopular worldwide, including China. That makes it an online sensation, and as such, it has spawned countless parodies, and at least one incredibly epic rant. Some parodies are better than others — and some are parodies of themselves. Here are two of the worse.
CHINA STYLE:
Published more than three weeks ago, China Style is bad in all the worst ways. Here are the lyrics to start:
Oppa China style. China style. // To the whole world via K-Pop comes this dance, // from New York, London and Tokyo to Shanghai they’re all dancing this dance, // and Thailand, Malaysia, Hong Kong all dancing this dance, // if you understand, just dance this dance.
Everyone join in the fun, // ABC BBC CBC all join in the fun, // CNN BBC NHK report joining the fun.
Simple. Lame. Cinge inducing. Not only are the creators ignorant about the original song’s meaning, they insult us by trying to explain Gangnam Style’s popularity. Where they lack in originality, they also lack in self-awareness. These are the type who, at a party, stand stone-faced through your jokes and then say, “So what you’re saying is…”
On YouTube, the video has been viewed more than 150,000 times, and has six times more dislikes than likes. That’s way worse than Justin Bieber’s videos. Here’s the original on Youku, where it’s been viewed 13 million times (several pirated copies also have view counts in the quintuple digits):
Moving on…
LAOWAI STYLE:
Possessing about a fourth of the production quality as China Style, Laowai Style nonetheless wins some points because it features foreigners doing things in Chinese.
Ahem.
Wait for it…
BWAHAHAHAHA
Sorry, foreigners doing things in Chinese actually is cliched, and not just because of Dashan and Mike Sui. Okay, mostly because of Dashan and Mike Sui. We give these foreign-language students credit where it’s due, for the effort, but at this point in the Gangnam Style lifespan, if you’re not pushing the conversation and conventions, you’re just that glum dude at the arcade endlessly feeding quarters into the whack-a-mole machine. The most disappointing aspect about Laowai Style is that it lives down its potential: how easy would it have been to parody foreigner lifestyle in Beijing? Instead, we get:
This guy is Laowai Style. // I’m the type of Laowai who sucks at basketball, // The type of Laowai who buys stuff at Silk Street but doesn’t get ripped off, // The type of Laowai who doesn’t drive a BMW and instead drives a secondhand electric bike, // A regular guy who’s a Laowai.
Um… good for you?
Here’s how one BJC contributor assessed it:
Plus there’s the creepy guy with the MIB villain sunglasses – hard not to imagine him vigorously banging his Chinese teacher.
Maybe he meant that as a compliment. I don’t know.
Here it is on Youku, where it’s been watched 298,000 times vs. YouTube’s 18,000.
Of course, reasonable people can differ. Maybe you have poor taste. Maybe you’re a kindergarten teacher who has the compulsive need to find the good in everything. Maybe you would like to take this opportunity to tell us to fuck ourselves. Whatever the case, get to voting. The poll is up top.
UPDATE, 7:52 pm: Just saw the Beijinger’s post from last night that features the newest Beijing-related Gangnam Style parody, called — wait for it — Beijing Style. Sigh.
Oh I like the little Chinese girl!
“Worser”? Really?
Whats this? Monarch competition.
Time to vacate Dodge, partner.
Of all the versions in the Sinosphere, I like Hong Kong Style the most:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv_BPosXemQ
When it comes to intergalactic comparisons, the winner is Klingon style:
http://youtu.be/CayMeza487M
Good remark on the Laowai Style video: that MIB guy is definitely not someone you’d let anywhere near your kids. Plus supporting cast look like the normal crew of Wudoakou bandana-and-sunglasses-at-night-wearing cunts who wreck Sanlitun every weekend. The Beijinger’s one harmless enough, though.
they are equally bad. Although points goes to Laowai for “more creative” lyrics but that’s not saying much either. Let’s just all stick with the original.
Why there is no “I dislike both of them” option on the poll?
I rewrote the lyrics to Laowai Style because, as you pointed out, they could be so much better. Just my take on things.
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
老外Style (Laowai Style)
大哥是长期住在北京的老外
(I’m the type of Laowai who’s lived in Beijing a long time)
吃成都美食吃好多的地沟油的老外
(The type of Laowai who’s eaten so much ditch oil at Chengdu Cuisine)
跟卖煎饼的一起逃避城管老外
(The type of Laowai who evades the municipal authorities with jianbing sellers)
超级老外性的老外
(A super Laowai type of Laowai)
哥是那种老外 (I’m that type of Laowai)
在三里屯泡妞的那种老外
(Who picks up chicks at Sanlitun)
跟老板唱K爱喝茅台的老外
(Who loves to drink Maotai with his boss at KTV, that kind of Laowai)
无意在五道口酒吧里买假酒的老外
(Who unintentionally drinks fake alcohol at Wudaokou, that kind of Laowai)
大哥那种老外 (I’m that type of Laowai)
北京生活丰富多彩 (Life in Beijing is rich & vibrant)
打架以后人肉搜索 (After a fight, people search for my identity online)
北京这城市，我不想离开 (This city of Beijing, I don’t want to leave)
但大使馆未保护我 (But the embassy won’t protect me)
哥们儿姐们儿跟我大声的说 (Guys and Gals sing it with me loud!)
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
老外Style (Laowai Style)
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
老外Style (Laowai Style)
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
黑！老外来了！ (Heeey! The Laowai is here!)
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
黑！老外来了！ (Heeey! The Laowai is here!)
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
哥是教英语口音还是太浓的老外
(I’m the type of Laowai teaches English but has too heavy an accent)
老百姓困在安检我顺利通过去的老外
(The type of Laowai passes through security checks while regular Chinese people get inspected)
打黑车的时不会被还假币的老外
(The type of Laowai who won’t get passed fake bills by illegal cabs)
超级老外性的老外
(A super Laowai type of Laowai)
哥是那种老外 (This guy’s that kind of Laowai)
在景点拍合照的老外
(Who takes group photos at tourist sites)
那种老外 (That kind of Laowai)
在中关村买水货老外
(Who buys black market electronics at Zhongguancun)
那种老外 (That kind of Laowai)
缺钱吃麻辣烫的老外
(Who eats malatang when he’s short on cash)
那种老外 (That kind of Laowai)
就是那种老外 (I’m that kind of Laowai)
北京生活丰富多彩 (Life in Beijing is rich & vibrant)
打架以后人肉搜索 (After a fight, people search for my identity online)
北京这城市，我不想离开 (This city of Beijing, I don’t want to leave)
但大使馆未保护我 (But the embassy won’t protect me)
哥们儿姐们儿跟我大声的说 (Guys and Gals sing it with me loud!)
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
老外Style (Laowai Style)
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
老外Style (Laowai Style)
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
黑！老外来了！ (Heeey! The Laowai is here!)
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
黑！老外来了！ (Heeey! The Laowai is here!)
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
你跟我玩儿，你跟我一起玩儿 (Come play with me, everyone play with me)
世界各国朋友大家跟我一起玩儿 (Friends from all around the world, come and play with me)
你跟我玩儿，你跟我一起玩儿 (Come play with me, everyone play with me)
世界各国朋友大家跟我一起玩儿 (Friends from all around the world, come and play with me)
我说什么呢？ (You know what I’m sayin’?)
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
黑！老外来了！ (Heeey! The Laowai is here!)
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
黑！老外来了！ (Heeey! The Laowai is here!)
大哥是老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
大哥老外Style (This guy is Laowai Style)
http://www.hercampus.com/school/brandeis/jesse-appell-12-0 Laowai wins some points as Jesse was a campus cutie of the month.