China’s “Internet Censorship Anthem” Is Amazing.

There’s verve here. Brio. These singers are rouged with holy spirit and plainly happier than you and I, poor nonbelievers at Christmas Mass. Why do we continue to pay the price for our pride? Who are we to let the piddling inconvenience of no Gmail make us glum, corruptible, not-rippling as befits our 5,000 years, unfaithful and obfuscated and dark and meekly dying on sand? March to this goddamn battuta, guys. INTERNET POWER. Hotdamn.

Says Sinosphere:

A throwback to revolutionary songs glorifying the state, the piece uses rich, if mixed, metaphors to boast of China’s influence over the Internet and its innovative prowess. To a bombastic battuta that sounds a bit like a military march, employees at the Cyberspace Administration, who reportedly worked overtime to practice the song, belted out memorable lines like, “Unified with the strength of all living things, Devoted to turning the global village into the most beautiful scene” and “An Internet power: Tell the world that the Chinese Dream is uplifting China.”

The song was performed during the Beijing Internet Association’s well-attended (and apparently televised) Lunar New Year celebration on Tuesday, if that were at all important, which it isn’t. This is the best thing Chinese censorship has ever given us.

WSJ’s Real Time China Report has translated a competing set of lyrics in which INTERNET POWER is given the primacy it richly deserves.

在这片天空日月忠诚的守望
Keeping faithful watch under this sky, the Sun and the Moon

为日出东方使命担当
Undertaking this mission for the break of dawn [in the East]

创新每个日子拥抱着清朗
Creating, embracing everyday clarity and brightness

像一束廉洁阳光感动在心上
Like a beam of incorruptible sunlight, touching our hearts

团结万物生长的力量
Uniting the powers of life from all creation

奉献地球村成为最美的风光
Offerings to the global village become the most beautiful of scenery

网络强国 网在哪光荣梦想在哪
Internet Power! The Web is where glorious dreams are

网络强国 从遥远的宇宙到思念的家
Internet Power! From the distant cosmos to the home we long for

网络强国 告诉世界中国梦在崛起大中华
Internet Power! Tell the world that the China Dream is lifting Greater China to prominence

网络强国 一个我在世界代表着国家
Internet Power! One self represents the nation to the world

在这个世界百川忠诚寻归海洋
In this world, all rivers loyally seek to return to the sea

担当中华文明的丈量
Bearing the measure of Chinese civilization

五千年沉淀点亮创新思想
5,000 years settle and give light to creative new thinking

廉洁就是一个民族清澈荡漾
Incorruptibility is the clear rippling of a nation

我们团结在天地中央
We unite at the center of Heaven and Earth

信仰奉献流淌万里黄河长江
Belief and giving flow for thousands of miles down the Yellow and Yangtze Rivers

网络强国 网在哪光荣梦想在哪
Internet Power! The Web is where glorious dreams are

网络强国 从遥远的宇宙到思念的家
Internet Power! From the distant cosmos to the home we long for

网络强国 告诉世界中国梦在崛起大中华
Internet Power! Tell the world that the China Dream is lifting Greater China to prominence

网络强国 一个我在世界代表着国家
Internet Power! One self represents the nation to the world

The Web is where glorious dreams are. It’s a dream that hangs in the interstice of stars. It lies within your self, you just have to know how to grasp it.

5 Responses to “China’s “Internet Censorship Anthem” Is Amazing.”

    • Anthony Tao

      Was taken off Chinese Internet pretty fast, alas. We can thank NYT’s Austin Ramzy for uploading to YouTube for posterity.

      Reply
  1. Alec Ash

    As Charlie Custer and a bunch of netizens have pointed out, 网络强国 sounds like 网络墙国, internet walls country. Score!

    Reply
  2. FOARP

    The really amazing thing about this is that the government still hasn’t all the way admitted to the GFW (insead talking in tems of blocking unsuitable material etc.), but here’s the group of people who run it singing their (own) praises.

    Reply
  3. RhZ

    Hilarious and truly pitiful at the same time. These are the parasites that love messing with people on the internet. To what end, you might ask? Welcome to the wonders of Communism.

    You all might enjoy these too:

    http://video.sina.com.cn/p/news/c/v/2015-02-20/094164643191.html
    http://video.sina.com.cn/p/news/c/v/2015-02-20/094364643197.html
    http://video.sina.com.cn/p/news/c/v/2015-02-20/094264643193.html

    http://news.xinhuanet.com/english/china/2015-02/20/c_134008631.htm

    Reply

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