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We’re Sorry If This Gives You Nightmares, But This Is Hu Jintao’s “O” Face

We've spliced together Hu Jintao, China's outgoing leader, and Beautiful Agony, a website that... Beautiful Agony began as an experiment*, to test a theory that eroticism in human imagery lies not in the body, but in the face; that film of a genuine, unscripted, natural orgasm can succeed where the most visceral mainstream pornography fails, and that is, to actually turn us on. Hu Jintao and Beautiful Agony ...

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Here They Are: China’s Magnificent Seven For The Next 10 Years

Xinhua via People's Daily (h/t Alex Wang) We've been waiting for this. Caption: "Xi Jinping, Li Keqiang, Zhang Dejiang, Yu Zhengsheng, Liu Yunshan, Wang Qishan, Zhang Gaoli, who have been elected members of the Standing Committee of the Political Bureau of the 18th Central Committee of the Communist Party of China (CPC), arrive to meet with Chinese and foreign journalists at the Great Hall of the People in ...

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It’s Officially Official: Xi Jinping Is General Secretary Of CCP, Li Keqiang Is Premier

[WHICH NEWS ORGANIZATION WILL BE FIRST TO PUBLISH A PHOTO OF THE NEW SEVEN? WE'RE STILL WAITING. Reuters at 3 to 1 odds, I think. Rolling updates after jump.] (UPDATE, 12:41 pm: Mark MacKinnon wins! We're tired of waiting for an official photo though. The image above has been appended.) (UPDATE, 12:55 pm: Xinhua wins, of course.) China's seven highest leaders: Xi Jinping, Li Keqiang, Zhang Dejiang, Yu Zheng ...

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Under The Banner Of The Celestial Kingdom

By TAR Nation The Party Congress is, mercifully, over. For those of us here in Beijing, it feels good, like a massive cold-water colon cleanse. Now with the brown-nosers out of the city, we can reflect. Now that it’s over, I mourn the loss of the banners. The propaganda rags had a few different roles to play during the Congress. 1) Don’t report bad news. 2) Make sure everyone loves the Congress. 3) Love our ...

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Stephen McDonnell Gave Andrea Yu, Star Bilingual “Reporter,” A Firsthand Lesson In Journalism, And It’s Not Pretty

Yesterday, while writing about an Australian reporter who had become somewhat of a Chinese Internet star because of her Mandarin-speaking ability, I was most struck by something she said in English. At a press conference inside the Great Hall of the People, she mentioned she was representing "Global CAMG Media International." I googled that phrase and found no results on the first page. The closest match wa ...

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A Reminder That The People’s Republic Of China’s Car Of Choice Is The Audi, Black

Back in September, Alicia snapped a picture of about 100 Audis, black, parked next to Tiananmen Square, a reminder to everyone that Ferrari may be the new kid on the block, but the Audi remains king. It remains so. The pictures above were taken outside the Great Hall of the People by China correspondents Tom Lasseter and Mark McKinnon on this, the final day of the 18th National Congress. Full-size pics afte ...

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Here’s Hu Jintao Looking Absolutely Thrilled To Be Casting A Vote “In Election For CPC Central Committee”

As China promotes up-and-comers to its approximately 350-member CPC Central Committee, culminating in an announcement (we hope) of the all-powerful nine-member Central Politburo Standing Committee, the place you should be keeping an eye on today is @XHNews, Xinhua's official Twitter account. Not only will it probably break the news of the new Standing Committee -- yes, Traditional Media, eat your hearts out ...

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People’s Daily Has Slideshow Of “Beautiful Scenery,” By Which It Means Women

"Look, a female!" exclaims People's Daily. We've been waiting for this. In March, we saw the Ouroboros of Chinese media, when journalists took pictures of other journalists in a slideshow for China Daily. But this year? The humor hasn't been handed to us on a platter, so we've had to dig a little. No longer. Here's People's Daily's "Beautiful Scenery" slideshow. Granted, the error is probably in translation ...

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“You Speak Very Good Chinese,” NDRC Chairman Tells Female Australian Reporter [UPDATE]

https://twitter.com/beijingcream/status/267774962352414721 Turns out, nope -- at least in terms of content. But on Saturday afternoon, one reporter attracted an equal amount of attention at an 18th Party Congress press conference. She stood up, took the mic, and asked a nearly minute-long question in Mandarin, and then wryly said, "I'll translate for myself." A few chuckles came out of the erstwhile cataton ...

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CCTV Reporter Suffers Total Brain Meltdown During Live Interview About National Congress [UPDATE]

This interview never gets off on the right foot: the lag between the anchor and the reporter is a full five seconds, causing the anchor to make a "Why haven't you acknowledged my greeting?" face. Reporter Feng Yuxian, live from Dubai (that's the Dubai Tower Burj Al-Arab Hotel in the background), then delivers her correspondence in fits and starts, stumbling over several lines. We feel bad for her because sh ...

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No One Can Resist The Animal Magnetism Of Hu Jintao

China Daily: "Hu's report gets nationwide attention." No, seriously, it says that. RFH has a theory that the people who organize the National Congress intentionally make it as boring as possible to test the outer limits of what "watchdog" journalists are willing to tolerate before they throw up their hands, a la: Chinese media, however, is spinning an alternate narrative: Hu Jintao is a charisma monster who ...

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Obama Is An Inspirer Of Nations, Particularly China, And Provides Good Material For English-Language Study

Whatever your feelings about American politics, it's hard to argue that Barack Obama doesn't shine on the big stage with the lone spotlight. The man knows how to deliver a message, and it's liable to be heard as clearly halfway around the world as by those closest to him. According to Tea Leaf Nation: In his acceptance speech in the early morning of November 7, re-elected U.S. President Barack Obama seemed ...

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Pictures From The 18th National Congress

As we prepare to begin the second day of the 18th National Congress of the Communist Party of China, here's a roundup of some pictures from Day 1 and prior. Our coverage so far: Clinging to life; Twitter accounts attacked. More via China Digital Times, MSNBC and Sina. ...

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Meanwhile, CPC National Congress Delegates Arrive In Beijing…

[caption id="attachment_6435" align="alignnone" width="486" caption=""Please make sure Madam Whiplash gets these pronto.""][/caption] Here's Xinhua's special slideshow of delegates of the 18th CPC National Congress arriving in Beijing. These are the good folks for whom cops shut multiple lanes of traffic from the airport to Tiananmen. Captioned with RFH. ...

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Security Officer Dies After Working 30 Consecutive Hours Preparing For 18th National Congress

The rapidly approaching 18th National Congress has claimed is first victim. Ren Changlin, 53, suffered a heart attack during his 30th consecutive hour at his post at a security bureau in Shenyang, Liaoning province on October 30. He "threw himself into the work," notes Shenyang Daily. There's no indication that Ren was forced to work so long, but if you're at it for more than a day straight, it's a good ind ...

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Uh Oh, They’re Handing Out Red Armbands In China Again

We are, in spite of everything (slower Internet, mostly), looking forward to the upcoming National Congress that starts next Thursday, because it means we'll get to see silliness such as pictures of photojournalists taking pictures (WHO WATCHES THE WATCHERS' WATCHERS???), and there's always the chance that someone will literally die out of boredom. One thing we are most definitely not looking forward to, ho ...

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Xinhua Announces: Bo Xilai’s Criminal Charges, Leadership Transition Set For Nov. 8

Two huge announcements from Xinhua this evening -- concerning two men who are more or less intricately tied -- impeccably timed for just the moment when everyone's preparing to start their holiday and stop caring about news. First: Bo Xilai has been expelled from the Communist Party of China (CPC) and his public office, according to a decision made at a meeting of the Political Bureau of the CPC Central Com ...

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