How Do I Hate Shanghai? Let Me Count The Ways

Earlier this week the Economist Intelligence Unit released “Hot Spots,” a report commissioned by Citigroup that “ranks the competitiveness of 120 of the world’s major cities.” There aren’t many surprises: US and European cities remain the most competitive overall; Asian cities do well economically; New York and London are ranked 1-2. We in Beijing really have no news hook to blog about this, except…

How do I hate Shanghai? Let me count the ways.
I hate thee to the depth and breadth and height
Your Skyscrapers reach, which smother souls, light,
Squeezing joy and delight out of days.

I hate thee for thy lanes, thy turgid streets,
Thy piss, shit, and British schools and pubs,
Thy ten-thousand Starbucks, and expat schlubs,
Like the French, masters of lie, steal, and cheat.

I hate thee with a proportional passion
To Anelka’s laziness, I hate thy
Rank pretension and coarse perversion,
I hate China Bounder, thy movies, wine,
Thy smiles, Tomorrow Square, Expo pavilions –
I shall hate thee forever, it would seem, you skank whore.

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