Bo Guagua, The Dude Himself, Makes Statement Via Harvard Crimson


Via Cherwell.org

I don’t normally read the Harvard Crimson, but I’m going to guess that newspaper just got its finest scoop of the year. Bo Guagua corresponded with staff writers Hana N. Rouse and Justin C. Worland (what’s with the middle initials? Must… suppress… prejudice), and wrote:

Recently, there has been increasing attention from the press on my private life. As a result of these speculations, I feel responsible to the public to provide an account of the facts. I am deeply concerned about the events surrounding my family, but I have no comments to make regarding the ongoing investigation. It is impossible to address all of the rumours and allegations about myself, but I will state the facts regarding some of the most pertinent claims.

British spelling on rumors is interesting if only for the fact that you know the Crimson didn’t edit any part of this letter. Style guide? Fuck it. It’s BO GUAGUA!

The rest of it reads like a resume. Excerpts:

My examination records have been solid throughout my schooling years. In the British public examination of GCSEs, which I completed at the age of 16, I achieved 11 ‘A Stars,’ whereas the necessary requirement is no more than 9 and ‘A’ grades are considered good marks. I also earned straight A’s for both AS level and A-level Examinations at the ages of 17 and 18, respectively.

And:

At the University of Oxford, I studied Politics, Philosophy and Economics. I was a ‘tripartite’, being enrolled in all three subjects, rather than dropping one in the second year, as is the norm. Upon graduating, I earned a 2:1 degree (Second Class, First Honours) overall and achieved a First in Philosophy.

And:

During my time at Oxford, it is true that I participated in ‘Bops,’ a type of common Oxford social event, many of which are themed. These events are a regular feature of social life at Oxford and most students take part in these college-wide activities.

He also loves Oxford, apparently, as he is more than happy to tell his Harvard readers.

Like many other university students, I also devoted time and energy to extra-curricular activities. For example, I debated in the Oxford Union and served as president of the Politics, Philosophy and Economics Society. These extra-curricular activities enabled me to broaden my perspective, serve the student community, and experience all that Oxford has to offer. I am proud to have been the first mainland Chinese student to be elected to the Standing Committee of the Oxford Union, and I truly value the close friendships I formed with my fellow students.

Finally:

I have never driven a Ferrari.

But as commenter “senior” wonders:

Did he drive a Porsche?

So… Bo Guagua, ladies and gentlemen:

15 Responses to “Bo Guagua, The Dude Himself, Makes Statement Via Harvard Crimson”

  1. NiubiCowboy

    *Bo Guagua Press Conference*

    So, what do you have to say about the rumors concerning your father’s actions as Party chief of Chongqing?

    Guagua: Great question! My father is a very important member of my family. The word family, of course, is derived from the Latin “familia.” Latin is a subject I studied in order to gain admission to Harrow, and Oxford is the uni I attended afterwards. In conclusion, Oxford.

    It’s also been suggested that your mother may have had your family friend, Neil Heywood, killed. What do you have to say regarding the validity of these rumors?

    Guagua: I remember my days at Oxford very fondly. I would wander the grounds wearing my Oxford sport coat, Oxford sweater, Oxford tie, Oxford cap, and Oxford socks as I breathed in the crisp Oxford air and gazed upon the historic Oxford buildings. As an Oxford man, I took many Oxford classes and aced many Oxford tests. Did I mentioned how well I did on my Oxford Oxfords? I earned straight Oxfords on all of my Oxford-level Oxfords. That’s all the questions I have time for now. Thank you, and as we Oxonians used to say in the town of Oxford when we attended Oxford: Oxford.

    Reply
  2. Kong

    Perhaps this is too obvious to bring up, and may ruin the good-old-fashion trolling, but anyone who has paid attention to Weibo (or Chinese news in regard to Guagua) could see that he is not merely used the the Crimson to publicly pleasure himself. Everything he wrote was meant to address rumors about him and to establish that he has the academics of an honest Harvard student. Many rumors claim that he is merely riding on the coat of his family’s wealth partying.

    Reply
  3. sascha

    love those images, but yes, the essay does not really mesh with the pics of 瓜瓜 wrapped up in slutty Brit slags and shoulders deep (actually no pic of this but maybe soon) in the Turkish girl’s spendifiruss breasteseses.

    Wouldn’t it have been much cooler had he said something like:

    “Ahem, fuck allyall. animout.”

    Reply
  4. Where Are Media Standards?

    It is unconscionable that media outlets are basing their articles on a single school webpost which itself was the result of a Gmail message. There is absolutely no proof that this “letter” came from Bo Guagua, who has not been seen in public since a car crash in Beijing months ago.

    The people posting here vociferously against Bo’s family are mostly “Wumaodang” – members of China’s infamous “50 Cent Party,” paid to post pro-government viewpoints.

    In the time it took to read the first “Bo Guagua sends letter!!” nonsense today, I created an email account using Boguagua as the username. Come on, people.

    At any rate, we all know that most feel in their gut that he perished in March. But just look at all the “Bo Guagua sucks and uses the people’s money” posts. Talk about scripted.

    Reply
  5. Where Are Media Standards?

    At any rate, I think I’ll write the Crimson with some of my thoughts, so that the world media can immediately rebroadcast my facts (without checking them), too.

    Reply

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