We held our Bar and Club Awards party on Saturday. Thank you to the 80 of you who voted. We now know which place to go watch English teachers make fools of themselves, and which place do you go if you’re seeking blue balls, and which place do you go if you hate conversation and want to experience the unique sensation of bleeding eardrums. If you’re the owner or manager of any of the following winners and would like your award, which will be in the form of a paper plate or plastic fork or knife, please let me know.
Some highlights:
- With one win: d lounge, Great Leap Brewing, Q Bar, Spark, Smugglers, Punk/Mesh, Kokomo, Chocolate, Tim’s Texas BBQ, The Swan with Two Necks, Red Club, Pure Girl, What Club, Maggie’s, The Den, and Migas. Propaganda/Sensation, The Bookworm and Mix/Vics each won two. Winning three: 1F.
- Speaking to the predictability of these popularity contests, you guys predicted Migas would win the Beijinger’s Bar and Club Award for Best Bar. It did.
- Spark, which won the Beijinger’s Best Club, was our readers’ choice for Most Likely to Make You Feel You Got Fleeced, Raped and Left for Dead.
- Propaganda/Sensation took more than half the votes in the Club with Lighting Most Conducive to Concealing Physical Defects category, making it the biggest runaway winner of any category.
- The Way Too Far For You to Care category yielded interesting results: The first and third choices got 11 votes, the second and fourth choices got 10 votes, and the last choice got 12. Two people wrote in “All of the above.”
And now…
THE WINNERS OF THE BEIJING CREAM BAR AND CLUB AWARDS
DROSS
Best Place to Watch English Teachers Try to Pick Up Local Girls
- 1F
- The Brick
- Latte
- Luga’s
- Kai Bar
- Smugglers
Best Place for Asian Men to Hit On White Girls
- George’s
- Migas
- Red Club
- Vics
- Xiu
- Youth Club (formerly Poachers)
Safest Place for a Girl to Avoid Being Leered At
- Alfa
- Bed Bar
- Blue Frog
- The Bookworm
- Destination
- Mesh
Best Place to Slip Someone a Date Rape Drug and Wander Off
- Baby Oh!
- Club Juicy Spot
- Kai Bar
- Mix/Vics
- Propaganda
- Smugglers
REPUGNANCE
Most Likely to Accidentally Find Yourself Trapped in a Conversation with Someone You Immediately Realize You Despise
- 1F
- Cafe de la Poste
- d lounge
- Heaven
- Paddy O’Shea’s
- Stumble Inn
Place in Which You’re Most Likely to Hear the Phrase “You’ve Probably Never Heard of Them”
- Amilal
- El Nido
- Great Leap Brewing
- Mai
- Mao Mao Chong
- Modernista
Most Likely to Make You Feel Like You Got Fleeced
- Aria
- Atmosphere
- Centro
- Face Bar
- Q Bar
Most Likely to Make You Feel You Got Fleeced, Raped and Left for Dead
- Apothecary
- d lounge
- Scarlett
- Spark
- Xiu
ALCOHOLISM
Most Reliable Place to Get Shitfaced, Followed by Overwhelming Regret For Two Days
- Club Juicy Spot
- Nanjie
- Salud
- Smugglers
- Tun
Safest Place to Get Alcohol Poisoning, Because the Bathrooms are Nice
- Enoterra
- LAN Club
- Migas
- Punk/Mesh
- Flamme
Worst Place to Go if You’re Feeling Mildly Suicidal
- Brussels
- The Den
- Glen
- Great Leap Brewing
- Kokomo
- Nashville
- Siif
Most Likely to Physically Injure Oneself
- Chocolate
- Haze
- Latte
- Maggie’s
- Red Club
- Spark
META
Why Even Call it Happy Hour if You’re Only Going to Lower Prices on Tsingtaos by 5 Kuai (i.e. The Tim’s Texas BBQ Award)
- Fubar
- Great Leap Brewing
- Paddy O’Shea’s
- Tim’s Texas BBQ
- Union
Way Too Far For You to Care
- Frank’s Place
- The Green Cap
- The Irish Volunteer
- The Pomegranate
- The Swan with Two Necks
Absolutely, Positively Worst Music
- Haze
- Kokomo
- Lantern
- Red Club
- White Rabbit
Least Likely to be Featured in Any Kind of Bar/Club Award
- 9.9
- The Awesomeness Bar
- Cheers
- Pure Girl
- Souk Lounge
Bar You Have Not Been to But is Actually Not Bad
- Ball House
- Contempio Temple Bar
- Doron
- Jiggly Wiggly
- Revolution
- What Bar
SEX
Club with Lighting Most Conducive to Concealing Physical Defects
- Lantern
- Propaganda/Sensation
- Youth Club (formerly Poachers)
- School Bar
- Tango
Most Likely to Leave You with Blue Balls (or the Female Equivalent)
- 2F
- Apothecary
- Black Sun
- The Bookworm
- The Tree
Where a Lay is Most Likely Followed by Postcoital Triste, Probably Because You Paid for a Hooker
- Chocolate
- The Den
- Maggie’s
- The World of Suzie Wong
- Xiu
Best Place to Go If You’re the Type of Shameless Asshole to Take Advantage of Another’s Drunkenness
- Bar Blu
- Club Wu
- Mix/Vics
- Propaganda/Sensation
- Punk
Best Place to Find a Lay that Turns into Something More, For Better or For Worse
- 1F
- 2 Kolegas
- 4corners
- Global
- Lush
- Pyro
- Salsa Caribe
- Temple Bar
- VA Bar
THE BEIJINGER
Your Prediction for Bar that Will Win the Beijinger’s Bar of the Year
- Mao Mao Chong
- Blue Frog
- d lounge
- Migas
- First Floor
- Mesh
- Apothecary
- Paddy O’Shea’s
- Great Leap Brewing
