What To Wear To Our Bar And Club Awards: Women’s Edition (For Real)

A totally acceptable outfit to wear to the BJC Bar and Club Awards.

The BJC Bar and Club Awards party is this Saturday at 11 pm at Sanlitun Kro’s Nest. Say you’re there for Beijing Cream and all drinks will be buy two, get one free. The theme is HUNGER GAMES.

Yesterday, Kevin Reitz came by to explain what the men should wear. Today, we have Piper Fisco here to offer a female perspective.

By Piper Fisco

It’s Saturday night, just hours before the Beijing Cream Awards ceremony, and you’re throwing open your closet as a voice in your head screeches, “Grrrl, you have nothing to wear.” But, girl, don’t fret – you got this one.

Before we go any further, let me remind you that you’re going to an anti-awards party thrown by dudes (right, dudes are organizing this?! They must be if it’s at Kro’s Nest). Let’s keep it real: this venue is a pizza place off South Sanlitun Road, which is also host to booze-bag palaces of vomit like Nanjie and Tun, and you’ll be surrounded by people in dragon costumes (you’ll just have to trust us on this one). Suffice it to say, you need not “dress to impress.” You’re a girl, and I’m impressed by a girl who would come to this. Your best course of action would really be to down a couple bottles of medicinal baijiu (I can’t be the only person in town who’s feeling a bit congested, right?) and turn your dirty pair of underpants inside out for the night because you’re not taking anyone home from this one.

If, however, your inner fierce must come out… Slut. This. Place. Up. Wear a loincloth (that falls under the “Hunger Games” theme, right? I know nothing about this new Twilight-Harry Potter-whatever phenomenon, and think Tao should have made it a “50 Shades of Grey” theme. Just sayin’). You’ll be surrounded by freaking dragons, and dragons = nerds or people who are super into the nian. This party will need lots of carefully created cleavage and butts. Lots of butts.

Don’t forget that the drink special is 2-for-1 EVERYTHING. [Correction: buy two, get one free.] If you’re going to take advantage of this deal with beer, wear something that will accommodate your bloat and is conducive to peeing a lot. If you’re going to drink yourself blind on Flaming Kro’s, then wear something flame retardant and, for God’s sake, pull your hair up so it doesn’t catch fire.

Piper’s first piece for BJC was about these awards. She lives in Beijing.

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    nine + = 14