Geese Are Helping Fight Crime In Xinjiang, Apparently

Geese fight crime in Xinjiang
Geese are apparently being used to help law enforcement officers in Xinjiang, according to People's Daily. We're tempted to make a chengguan joke here, but we'll refrain. The Telegraph has the full report for you, which you should read here. We're going to isolate the quotes from the article, because taken together, they provide a lesson in ridiculousness.

Jiaku The Gorilla Has Quit Smoking, So Please Stop Giving Him Cigarettes

Jiaku the gorilla
A 23-year-old gorilla named Jiaku became famous at Tianshan Wildlife Zoo in Xinjiang for being a "heavy smoker." He was known to perform tricks -- doing handstands, turning in circles, clapping his hands, even performing ballet moves -- to get visitors to throw him a smoke, and would sometimes get desperate without his nicotine fix. His trainer, however, out of concern for his health, has recently tried to wean him off cigarettes. The method has been to lace his ciggies with chili pepper and to apply an ointment on the end.

Panda Gives Birth To Year’s First Panda Twins

Panda gives birth to twins
Talk about a publicity and soft power machine for China. On Saturday, June 22, a female panda named Haizi gave birth to twins at a conservation center in Wolong, and everyone is talking about it, from BBC to AP to the Telegraph, which reports:

Florentijn Hofman’s Rubber Duck Is Coming To Beijing!

Rubber Duck inflating
The rubber duck is coming to Beijing Design Week in September. Dutch creator Florentijn Hofman apparently made the announcement at a press conference in Beijing on Saturday, saying, “The Rubber Duck knows no frontiers, it doesn't discriminate people and doesn't have a political connotation. The friendly, floating Rubber Duck has healing properties: it can relieve mondial tensions as well as define them. The rubber duck is soft, friendly and suitable for all ages!”