Counterpoint To Today’s TAR Nation Column: Hu Xijin Is Not A Gelded Fuckwit, Pitiless Twat, Mop-headed Vagina Face, Or Painful Mole That Might Be Cancer

As plain as rain, our columnist TAR Nation kind of dislikes Hu Xijin, the editor-in-chief of Global Times.

But let us sing the human qualities of Hu Xijin, for one minute. Let us acknowledge Hu Xijin’s errors, while also acknowledging that to err is to be a child of God, which he is, and commensurately proud of it. Let us also not be so quick to forget that his publication is the one which gave us Alessandro, and “People go ape over panicking monkey,” and erotic panda fiction, and Charlie Sheen (google this one), and satire so brilliant that Western media is also netted and skewered in such bloody fun sport that we as spectators have no choice but to stand and applaud.

And let us not forget that there is also Chris Hawke, who wrote this piece published yesterday:

Foreigners love to complain about China, especially newcomers. Many of them give up and leave, but some stay on and are even quite happy here. How do they do it?

Our panel of three fictional old China hands suggest strategies for living in China, and loving it.

Meet the panel

Deanna Troy: Single, middle-aged and bilingual, Troy has dated many Chinese men, some of them very famous, although not for some time. She prefers squat toilets, feeling they are more sanitary.

Who but a courageous and bold leader could allow fiction to be published in such a bulwark of intelligent public discourse? Perhaps we will never know whether the bylined man is indeed Chris Hawke or a doppelgänger, but then again, we are not Hu Xijin, who knows, he of, if not infinite, enough wisdom, all the barbs and arrows of the blogosphere could not possibly deter him in his quest for truth. Indeed, we are incapable of hurting him, nor do we try. Let us sing the ineffable human qualities of Hu Xijin, who could never hold a grudge, and admire from afar.

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