The Situation Is Excellent: The Week That Was At Beijing Cream

March 5 – March 11

Senior editor RFH wrote about suicide twice, first about administrative and official scrubbing of the details of a school suicide, then again after people began making connections between a rural double-suicide and TV shows involving time travel.

The government apotheosized Lei Feng, leading me to photoshop his head onto a crucifixion upon a telephone pole (because Lei Feng died when a telephone pole fell on his head). The Wall Street Journal practiced shitty journalism ethics and we called ‘em out on it. The Beijinger published its list of “50 best” from its six-word contest, which speaks for itself.

We discovered, with no small amount of excitement, that the Great Firewall of China does not block Pornhub.com. Stephon Marbury seems at home in China, while something seems entirely wrong with this Jeremy Lin photo. On the other hand, these pictures are funny. Da Peng responded to Conan for the second — and, hopefully, last — time.

Repeat after me: 22,000 kilometers of land borders and 18,000 kilometers of sea borders.

And as of this writing, there are still no casualties from the Two Sessions that we know of.

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