Voting Ends Today For The Beijing Cream Bar And Club Awards

Voting for the BJC Bar and Club Awards ends at midnight tonight. Vote now if you haven’t already, it’s easy — the ballot is above. (UPDATE, next day: Voting is now closed. Sad.)

Also: we will officially celebrate the winners on Saturday at 11 pm at a party at the Sanlitun Kro’s Nest. We guarantee ours will be rowdier and drunker than the Beijinger‘s afternoon shindig for their thingymajig.

Coverage of the BJC Bar and Club Awards isn’t over. Stay tuned. 

Thanks to all our guest columnists:

Once again, the categories:

Dross

  • Best Place to Watch English Teachers Try to Pick Up Local Girls
  • Best Place for Asian Men to Hit On White Girls
  • Safest Place for a Girl to Avoid Being Leered At
  • Best Place to Slip Someone a Date Rape Drug and Wander Off

Repugnance

  • Most Likely to Accidentally Find Yourself Trapped in a Conversation with Someone You Immediately Realize You Despise
  • Place in Which You’re Most Likely to Hear the Phrase “You’ve Probably Never Heard of Them”
  • Most Likely to Make You Feel Like You Got Fleeced
  • Most Likely to Make You Feel You Got Fleeced, Raped and Left for Dead

Alcoholism

  • Most Reliable Place to Get Shitfaced, Followed by Overwhelming Regret For Two Days
  • Safest Place to Get Alcohol Poisoning, Because the Bathrooms are Nice
  • Worst Place to Go if You’re Feeling Mildly Suicidal
  • Most Likely to Physically Injure Oneself

Meta

  • Why Even Call it Happy Hour if You’re Only Going to Lower Prices on Tsingtaos by 5 Kuai (i.e. The Tim’s Texas BBQ Award)
  • Way Too Far For You to Care
  • Absolutely, Positively Worst Music
  • Least Likely to be Featured in Any Kind of Bar/Club Award
  • Bar You Have Not Been to But is Actually Not Bad

Sex

  • Club with Lighting Most Conducive to Concealing Physical Defects
  • Most Likely to Leave You with Blue Balls (or the Female Equivalent)
  • Where a Lay is Most Likely Followed by Postcoital Triste, Probably Because You Paid for a Hooker
  • Best Place to Go If You’re the Type of Shameless Asshole to Take Advantage of Another’s Drunkenness
  • Best Place to Find a Lay that Turns into Something More, For Better or For Worse

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