The Situation Is Excellent: The Week That Was At Beijing Cream

April 29 – May 5

Accused NASA spy Bo Jiang, cleared on espionage charges, is getting nailed for downloading porn. A Hebei principal poisoned to death two students from a rival kindergarten by injecting tetramine into their yogurt, which is awful. China is creating a supervirus by combining H5N1 and H1N1 (by TAR Nation).

Jonathan Alpart’s humorous take on Chinese bands: how similar is Rustic to Green Day? And two reviews: of the 3rd Beijing International Film Festival, and Chris Clayman’s piece on the Dali Erhai World Music Festival.

Another pedophile was discovered to have been teaching in China. Hundreds have been arrested for selling fake meat, including rat, mink and fox. Josh Feola wrote his first piece for the website, a Friday Night Musical Outro on Not There.

A Chinese dance instructor sort of lost her mind and assaulted her students. Beijing will get a second basketball team, while Brittney Griner prepares to come play professional basketball in China.

Iron Man 3 has been released in China, and some scenes are particularly bad. Django Unchained will return to mainland Chinese theaters on May 5.

How long can you touch a carChengguan speaks! And check out this rubber duck in Hong Kong.

Comment of the Week:

Eric on Iron Man 3 in China:

Please note that Brian didn’t actually see the movie. He’s in Japan. I saw the movie. The Chinese additions were terrible.

What was most appalling is that this is example of a “Co-production” that SARFT had approved. I mean, when Looper was released Chinese bloggers were upset. Officials were upset. They claimed that they would crack down on “so-so” co-productions that didn’t have anything really Chinese in them. Yet after all that commotion, they allowed Iron Man 3.

On top of that, the movie doesn’t make sense because they removed the post credits teaser/easter egg. The whole movie has Tony narrating. Iron Man isn’t a meta-film, it’s not a self referential film, so who the F is Tony regaling his story to? The International version has this, why doesn’t the Chinese version have it? Is it because of Run times and the stupid extra china scenes bumped it out? Or is it because Marvel/Disney couldn’t guarantee future movies in China? If it’s the latter, the easter egg at the end of Iron Man 3 has nothing to do with Marvel Phase 2.

Fucking SARFT man, Fucking SARFT.

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