The Situation Is Excellent: The Week That Was At Beijing Cream

July 23 – July 29

If you haven’t seen it yet, make sure to watch until the end: best rendition ever of Justin Bieber’s “Baby” from atop a cow. Also, this is good: Chinese woman’s shirt foretells a world after racism, when our most offensive words are simply humorous. And here’s a food story for you, featuring tapeworms.

The Olympics have started: Boris Johnson welcomes you to London in best way possible; “Best Wishes From Beijing” is a god-awful song; and these poor pigs, destined for the dinner table, swim for your entertainment. In other sports news closer to home, Didier Drogba made a successful Chinese Super League debut, and Bayern Munich scored six in Beijing.

We wondered, as Gu Kailai made the news again after she was officially charged with murder, whether she deserves a nickname (yes). Xinhua continues to amuse: pictures of overweight people, and a fitting typo about last weekend’s rainstorm. (Speaking of which, here are people trying to pull out a submerged car.)

Here’s a Du Chuanwang update, and not a good one. Here’s China depicted by a 17th-century engraver. Here’s a bad case of road rage, when a little cool-headedness would’ve been better. It’s good advice for the summer, and in general: stay cool out there.

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