The Situation Is Excellent: The Week That Was At Beijing Cream

April 1 – April 7

Pete DeMola wrote about John Lydon of PiL, Kraftwerk, and Chinese censorship of musical acts. CRI host Yan Yinan killed herself by jumping off her apartment building. Dead humans are constantly being found in China’s rivers.

We published an April Fools joke, only to find that it was no joking matter, since fixed-gear bikes are illegal in some places in China. Meanwhile, CCTV fell for Virgin Atlantic’s April Fools joke. And this isn’t a joke at all, we don’t think: pictures of a Chinese toddler smoking.

A girl killed her friend, accidentally, trying to bring her pleasure via strangulation. Apple caved in to CCTV and People’s Daily, apologized to China. The Game of Thrones opening was co-opted by a baijiu brand for a commercial.

China’s state-owned telecoms are calling upon ministers to bully Tencent. A Chinese journalist was suspended for his North Korea op-ed. Hong Kong pastor Enoch Lam incited a boycott against Starbucks for CEO Howard Schultz’s pro-gay marriage stance.

Contest: masturbators wanted. What’s going on here? Naked man carrying sex doll flees from naked women. Video: drunk man falls from electricity wire. And here’s a damsel in distress who actually gets help.

Counterfeit beers at Chengdu were eye-catching. Fighter jet crashes, both pilots killed. H7N9 bird flu is a thing. Keep up to date here.

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