The Situation Is Excellent: The Week That Was At Beijing Cream

March 18 – March 24

Frank Turner visited Beijing, and Matt Sheehan is a fan. Follow the example of Zhao Xiyong, master impersonator, writes Pete DeMola. A ridiculous hailstorm, like “stone rain,” killed at least 9 people in Dongguan, Guangdong province.

A foreigner did ridiculous things – ni you ha ha ha wo – in Sanya Airport. Xiao Yi wrote farewell to the 64-year-old Ministry of Railways. CCTV paid off celebrities such as Peter Ho to smear Apple on Sina Weibo.

Xinhua devoted a slideshow to camel toes, bum cracks and floppy dicks. Here’s a look at 14 shades of Beijing’s sky during the Two Sessions. It snowed in Beijing this week.

David Beckham arrived in Beijing. Xi Jinping revealed a fondness for Paul the Octopus. A chengguan was stabbed seven times with no one helping, and another chengguan was killed in the line of duty (graphic video).

An expensive car accident had netizens chuckling. Sylvia Wang wrote about Li Keqiang’s first press conference as premier. Bo Jiang, suspected spy, almost got out of the US in time. Here’s Skyping from North Korea. Meanwhile, Dennis Rodman is breaking DPRK news.

Morgan Short’s Friday Night Musical Outro on “Rural Wedding Show” was excellent. Sad fucking panda. More than 15,000 dead pigs because of this rapist dog. Fun with spoonerisms.

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